Flatbush Willie

*TRUE STORY*

This is the story of my fun and fabulous New Years Eve in the city.  THE City.  As in, the City which was built on Sex and Sax on the Six...well, you get the jist.

I was originally supposed to spend New Year's Eve in South Jersey with Mick and the gang.  Then I found out I had to waitress, which sucks.  The bosslady and I argued about my schedule for that day, but in the end, I had to take the shift.  Though I would have preferred to see my friends in South Jersey, this was kind of a way to save me $50 and a tank of gas. 

So, anyway, I got a call from Flatbush Willie in NYC. He tells me about this happening party in Harlem that night. So, I agreed. Hell why not? Never spent NYE in NYC before...

Friendlys' is a non-alcoholic restaurant, so thankfully it closed at 8:30 PM.  I left work in a hurry, showered, and changed for the night.  I was originally told the party was "casual" (never listen to a straight man's fasion sense) so I wore jeans and a nice shirt.  Nothing fancy.  I put on some light makeup, let my parent's dogs out, then I took the train to NEW YORK CITEH!!  Sharing the train was a group of hot Asian men along with a flurry of drunks waiting to celebrate new years half naked with a bottle of champagne.  It took an hour to reach Penn Station, where I could see the ungodly crowdedness that is Times Square. Waiting for my friend to arrive, I have a $6.50 slice of pizza. Damn. That pizza better had gold in it.
After about a 1/2 hour wait, Flatbush Willie arrives. Instead of driving to Harlem right away, I wanted to be as close to Times Square as I could possible get being that I did not arrive at 9AM. So, we walked as far as we could and then heard the ball drop. We (Willie and I) were in back of the building with the Apple on it.  Wow, such an amazing feeling. All the people there were just so joyous. The feeling of togetherness was so palpable…then we were whisked back to reality when we had to watch out for vomit puddles and avoid the drunken fights. Hey, at least Willie did not get a ticket for parking illegally.
We got to the party in Harlem around 12:30 AM. During the drive, I called my friends to wish them a Happy NY after trying about 10X. Going into the apartment building, there was a strange lady who screamed “Happy New Year! Did you find Jesus yet?” I felt like saying “He’s on the back stairwell recovering from New Years” but that could have incited a riot on 96th.  We walked up the stairs, and for the place it was in, the apartment was nice. The place was nicely painted, and I never saw such a huge TV. Had to be 80 inches.  Well, then everyone was getting back from being at the clubs. $150 a ticket. I would never pay that, and if I did, I would be there from beginning to end. I guess they kinda knew because there was this air about them, like “oh your from jersey”, and they did not want to talk. There was kind of a harbinger at this party to warn me about the rest of the night. Willie told his friend that he did not see a single roach when he went to my apartment, much to his surprise.
 I realized early on in the night that the next train back to Matawan was not until 5:30AM. So, I followed my friend Willie back to his place in Flatbush, Brooklyn to kill some time. Well, this was a real Eye opener to the way people live. I walked into the building…and there was this smell, similar to the smell of roaches and filth. like the roaches owned the place and let people live there..So, I went into his place, and WHOA!!.  When he turned the lights on the roaches did not even flinch…it was disgusting…there were 20 of them just having their own New Years party right on the kitchen counter. He had the nerve to offer me juice, to which I abruptly said “NO”. I was trying not to come off as a snob but I was also glad I left my purse in my car at the Matawan train station. Well, then after I got over the initial shock of the cluttered kitchen, I went to his living/bedroom. I sat uneasily on the daybed. He assured me there were no roaches in this room, but one could never tell with all the stuff there. I had to use the bathroom, and there were roaches in the bathroom. He looked at me as if I was the one with the problem, and said, “Don’t worry they don’t bite”. Like he would know. After 15 minutes, I finally hovered over the toilet and prayed that nothing would come near me, since I had no shame at the moment of running and leaving a slight yellow trail. So, I got over that and watched an amazing special “the history of sex” on the history channel (no gratuitous nudity).
At 4:30 AM, I headed back to the train station.  I saw a sign in the building: "Please do not leave your doors open. There is a thief in the building. We do not know if he is living in the building or if it is the crackheads next door.” That summed up the building right there. I was glad to go back to the train station.  It was way too early, or late, depending on your schedule.  I bought a ‘cheap’ $7.50 cheeseburger & fries and also a National Geographic. Any other magazine and I would have fallen asleep amidst the sex articles. But they had such a good article on coffee, which of course I had in my right hand. I contemplated the days events. I had fun, and I did another thing I could cross off my todo list, of being in New York for Times Square. Yay.